Happy Valentine’s Day! How was your day? Suitably sickening? Or perhaps it was as tedious as every other year? Did you get any cards? I never, quelle surprise.
I’m not going to lie, it was just another Thursday. In my life Thursday’s have a reputation of being a little bit terrible ( it’s like that Monday morning feeling all day). We’re all allowed a bad day once in a while, and today just happened to be my turn again. Let me impart my new-found wisdom with you:
1. If you have an injury and you roll onto it in your sleep, you will wake up in pain.
2. Hotmail has updated at some point, and therefore it is actually now possible for your computer to be too old to open your e-mails.
3. Technology is the devil (this I have been aware of for many years). If you are in a hurry to print something, the printer will suddenly realise that it has a million other things queued to print.
4. The printer that Santa gave Dad does not have a USB port. Clearly it is also devil spawn.
5. If you leave your boots in another town, it will inevitably snow and get icy.
6. If it is icy, you will slip and fall. Especially if steps are involved, slippy ice loves steps. Chance of slipping is monumentally increased if you are running later than normal.
7. Your body has a natural defence mechanism, so if you fall on the ice then you will put your arms out to stop yourself. It is therefore only natural to land on the arm which is attached to the shoulder you have already injured.
8. If you land on the afore mentioned injury, it will hurt. A LOT. Tears may be induced. All other pain may be delayed due to shock of suddenly realising that you are lying on the ground and are no longer walking down the garden.
9. If you fall (see 6) you will miss your bus. Especially if you already chose to not take the earlier bus, and you have something that you really need to be in on time for.
10. If you fancy a toastie for tea, you will get home only to discover that there is no bread in the house.
Oh and a deer ran into my Gran’s car when we were driving to Aviemore. Such a beautiful creature, Rest In Peace.
It wasn’t all bad though, as in the end I wasn’t as late for college as I thought it might be, and I passed my assessment. It could have possibly been the most non-romantic Valentines imaginable if it weren’t for the grand total of 3 ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ texts I recieved, because some of my friends are as fantastically single as I am. I even sent a card to my friend this year (she’s female), but that backfired since it arrived a day early. It said “I Love You More Than Cheese” on the front. I was only joking of course, it would be physically impossible to love anybody more than I love cheese.
So I hope you all had a fantastically romantic Valentine’s, filled with cards and texts and cheesy little gifts. We may now all be thankful that we get 365 days off till the next one!