The great puzzle to which Alice was referring was, of course; “Who on earth am I?”, and indeed I agree that the search for one’s personal identity is possibly one of life’s greatest quests. Trying to work out who exactly you are and just where you fit in starts at an incredibly young age, and although for many people may seem to settle down towards the end of their adolescent years, is a journey which I believe is never really complete until the day we die.
So who on earth am I, and why on earth am I here?
Kirsty Louise, 22 years old apparently and living in a not quite as small as it used to be town up in the North East of Scotland, but despite knowing all of this I’ve been suffering varying forms of personal identity crisis since the day that I was born.
My own parents, the very people who named me all those many years ago, have been known to call me Hettie (The Yeti, if you saw my hair first thing in the morning some days you’d totally understand) or Abby (as in Sciuttio, as in NCIS). My brother nicknamed me Barbie, but I spend less time on hair or make up than 95% of females I know, because I just don’t have time in my life for that nonsense. I choose sleep instead, true story.
I have never drank alcohol despite Scotland’s binge drinking culture, I don’t smoke and I have absolutely no interest in recreational drugs. Admittedly, if you’ve known me for a while, I’ve not always been completely opposed to some drugs. I’ve grown up now. I’m a demi-romantic asexual in a seriously oversexualised society. I’m a hugaholic who hates to be touched. I don’t believe in that ‘one true love’, despite my family desperately waiting for me to settle down. I’m also a Christian, but there’s a distinct difference between asexuality and celibacy that a large percentage of sexual people find difficult to comprehend. I’m a migraineur in fast paced world filled with bright lights and high caffeine consumption. My Father’s a butcher but I eat very little meat, purely because I can’t stand the taste nor the texture of it. My Mother files paperwork for a living yet I’m the most unorganised person on the planet. I’m a student who refuses to socialise.
So tell me, please, where the Hell do I belong?
Maybe it’s not about belonging somewhere, so much as it is about being comfortable to stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in. Is it not more important to believe in yourself as an individual, than to mould yourself into a group. Stand alone.
Perhaps I’m a little eccentric, but that’s just who I am. Theodore Geisel is, in my opinion, possibly the most wonderful human being to have ever existed. You probably know him better as Dr Seuss, and you probably can’t pronounce it properly either. I’d marry William Shakespeare in a heartbeat. I am in no way ashamed to admit that I am completely and utterly obsessed to the TV series CSI, and Gil Grissom is the love of my life. Real books are infinitely better than e-books. I’m pretty much addicted to cheese, preferably blue please. My incredibly eclectic music taste completes my life. I will not hesitate to correct your spelling or grammar mistakes if I find them, though I don’t specifically go looking for them. I’d rather be alone most of the time, because I only ever get irritated by the human race.
I did a lot of work with Girl Guides until recently, and I spent a lot of time trying to persuade the girls that it was okay to be different. You’re allowed to like something that your friends don’t like. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground.
So if you’re reading this looking to fuel your fire against me, here it is.